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We waited for a child for two whole years. Two years of fasting, hospital stays, prayers, and emotional breakdowns. It felt miraculous to me when I became pregnant at last. However, the day I gave birth to a kid who has a physical impairment changed that miracle into a nightmare.
My husband didn’t say much at first. He simply gazed silently at the infant. But as the days passed, I became aware of his peculiar actions. He grew aloof, resentful, and furious. He told me something that almost made me pass out a week after I got back from the hospital: he wanted me to walk our son to the dam close to our village and toss him in.
It was unbelievable to me.
He blamed the baby for his recent job loss, claimed that the infant was a curse, and said that his infirmity was a punishment from the ancestors. He said that his life had taken a turn for the worse ever since I gave birth and that “this kind of child will only bring disgrace and poverty.”
As I held my kid, tears welled up in my eyes. I held him for nine months. Every kick was felt by me. I had aches from labor. And they wanted me to kill him now?
I don’t know what to do. I can’t choose between an innocent child who didn’t ask to be born this way and a man I once loved. My relatives live far away. I’m broke. But I simply cannot hurt my child.
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